what it means to me to be a grown-up

when i was a child, i had a little yellow frock. i crinkled my nose the moment i saw it. it was a summer frock with little yellow petals (that looked liked crushed moth wings to me) printed in an off-white background.

i think my parents quite liked it; there is no other way i could have found myself in it as often as i did. they must have liked it. well, if not, they wouldn't have got it for me. quite funny that most of the people in my (then) world loved it too. that made things at once, tougher and easier for me. i could never say i didn't want to wear it: i couldn't quote anyone's bad comments. but the fact that every one who saw it liked it, made the wearing easier.

hmmm... that was until the nanny at the kindergarten crinkled her nose too. when she said, "Oh, you have worn your crushed moths frock today", i couldn't help crediting her with a lot of common sense. why couldn't the rest of (what i then thought to be) the world see what my nanny and i saw?

i am not trying to blame anyone here, least of all my dad and mom. it was just how the simple idea of telling my parents that i didn't like the frock didn't occur to me. it just did not light up as an option. that is why this post is titled as is.

being grown-up to me means that i can express myself. i can tell people what i think.

also, i can better comprehend what people think.

looking back, the dress wasn't all that bad. it is only that while i saw moth wings on it, the rest of the world saw bright yellow floral petals. it was just that i could not think about it that way. i just didn't know from which point of view could one see the petals.

now in my mind, i can see the crushed insect wings. i open and close my eyes again, and i can see a little girl wearing a sunny summer dress. she looked good - curls et al :) more importantly, i can see the petals.

thanks everyone, for seeing something good in me that i couldn't.

thanks dear papa and mama, for getting me that pretty dress!